UNDERSCORE

I have hinted before (and very broad hints they were) that I have a friends with benefits. A friend with benefits who makes me question myself, what I’m doing, where I’m going. Well, that’s all changed. We’re not seeing each other anymore. I’m moving on, and so is he…. or so I thought.

An identity crisis made me think that we weren’t seeing each other anymore. Unfortunately, that is all I can say about that. But, believe me, it was a big issue and I got pretty angry about how I had been treated. I’m not sure if I have the right to be so angry and hurt, but I am. It has led to some very tumultuous months for me, and, I guess, for him.

For starters, we both left Australia to go to different continents.

Then, I’ve been on a few dates.

Lastly, I had a brief interlude of FWB again with someone I never thought I would do it with once, let alone going back for more.

Bottom line is: with the crazy emotions, the lack of contact, the moving on (honestly, my last two posts have been about getting my hair cut because I need change in my life and not to be looked over or forgotten. Talk about crisis), I thought we were done.

Imagine my surprise, if you will, when I received a message from him the other day, casually asking if I want to catch up because he is back and ran out of money lol.

So casual, so cavalier. I didn’t reply because I am overseas still, and that costs money that I don’t want to spend. But I wanted to reply in some way, to show no hard feelings. (Because suuuuuure there haven’t been any) So, I used the trick up my sleeve and added him on facebook and sent a message through messenger…. but he has not replied yet.

While I’m waiting on him (he doesn’t use facebook much as far as I know), I just have to think: what did he mean by ‘let’s catch up!’ That was what we always used to say, and he’s gone right back to it. Hopefully it is nothing less than a catch up, and we can finally talk face-to-face. Anyone out there with anything slightly similar? I am still feeling so confused, I just hope it can be amicably resolved.

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Projects

I am probably the exact same as everyone else – especially at this time of year.

You see, I work at Kmart. Luckily (for you), that’s not why we’re all alike. On New Year’s Day, 2017, I saw more people than usual buying work out clothes. Good on ’em. Keep it up. Good job, Bob.

At the start of the year we all get those urges to do, to experience, to be better, to be healthier, to incorporate mindfulness. I will leave the subject of mindfulness to another post, though. On that subject, I have so. Much. Advice. (In a non-aggressive way)

I had the urge and the opportunity to re-organise my room. To tell the truth, I didn’t have the opportunity: I made it. I started at 9 pm and kept going until I had room on bed to sleep. Then I needed to get rid of things and to find new boxes for jewellery. That got me onto Pinterest and I am now making a jewellery storage space from an old corkboard that was sitting on the floor and still holding 2015’s shopping lists.

Now I am (once again) an avid Pinterest user. I have re-organised my boards and have aims to give my account a facelift. I hope that this urge will pay off: that it will help keep me active both physically and mentally, help me to learn and prepare for the day when I have to renovate my own, futuristic house, and to keep me far from boredom and well within the realm of creativity and… fun.

Good luck to all with your resolutions and aims, motivation and journeys!new-years-eve-fireworks-sydney-harbour-national-park