A blog about personal growth using time to compare self? It’s been done. BUT it has never been done by me. I’m not saying that that means it will be fantastic, but it will be fantastic for me.
About one year ago today I was preparing to go to Italy by the end of the month. I felt like I knew what was going on, having gone to Malaysia for four months the previous year. The flight got delayed, I missed my first day of class, but I was not worried. I met some interesting people, ate some good food, whiled away a while in the hotel we got put up at, and got on the next plane.
Now, I feel like I want to travel, but I also feel as though it would be a far greater challenge. Somewhere along the way I’ve lost some of that fire and pizazz, the soul always looking for adventure. I want to find it again though. I’m not content.
One year ago I was talking to a boy I met online – maybe even a couple of boys. A couple of days ago I was asked by a particular one to move in with him. To clarify, he is the only one I’m talking to like that, and I mostly talk to him in real life, when he lights up my day. I wonder if my relationship with him has been me dependent on him, because I love him to bits. The change from being stubborn and proud is probably good, but I miss the old me who would go and tackle random activities without having to ask or check that I’m not interfering in any plans. It’s not that he would ever make me feel guilty, I am just very accomplished at doing that to myself.
One year ago I had recently discovered kombucha, and the making thereof. I would make it in the kitchen at residence and then keep it in my room. As one boy said, I would “make moldy drinks in my room”. I now have a bit more of a repertoire in fermeted foods and drinks, and it has led me to find out a lot more about the plastic-free movement which has inspired me to do what I can to help the environment, maybe even make a career out of it.
One year and a few weeks ago I was moving from residence at university to move in with a friend. A friend who is quite different to me, but we rub along. This morning, while walking back to our place from my boyfriend’s (soon to be our!) place, I remembered that a year ago I reckoned I could handle whatever she threw at me – figuratively speaking! And yes I can. Sure, sometimes I get a bit weighed down, but I can handle so many things. have passion, people who love me, very few friends but the ones I have are real, my beautiful dog who I will visit tomorrow, and an unconquerable spirit.
Just writing this makes me think of how I was: freer, caring, generous, adventurous. One of my sisters loves hearing my stories, saying that interesting things always seem to happen to me. That may be true, but, to some extent, I make them happen. And I will make them happen again.