Z: A novel of Zelda Fitzgerald

Recently I went on holiday to Merimbula. It was my first holiday with my boyfriend of four months. As someone who likes a bit of alone time (quite a bit), this was a bit of a struggle for me: spending every waking, and every sleeping, minute together; getting dressed and undressed in front of him all the time; conversing with him and only him; jut the way we do things differently.

I can’t lie, nor can I deny the fact that I had a wonderful time. The ocean, the aptly named Sapphire Coast of New South Wales, having nothing to do and nowhere we needed to be.

I did get  a bit of time to myself, in the mornings mostly, for I am an early riser and he is not. If I had wanted him to get up and join me I know he would have in a heartbeat, but I wanted that cold early morning air, the Sun rising over the east-facing balcony to myself. I did share it with a few good books, though.

The third of these I feel compelled to write about now. I finished the 360 page novel this morning, a few days after beginning. I am a slow reader and I don’t mind that: I read thoroughly, and pick up on details. I take the time to make sure I can hear the dialogue, and follow actions, and imagine scenery.

The dialogue, and scenes especially in Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Anne Fowler were especially beautiful. It was witty, and dramatic (when it needed to be), it explained and demonstrated ever-changing relationships, and told a beautiful, complicated story set over the European and American continents.

It was so bright at the beginning, but with delicate, dooming foreshadowing that made me nervous as to Zelda and Scott’s futures. The glitz and glamour couldn’t last forever, and it shows a terrible, twisted spiral of lives. Famous authors and other artists and name-dropped throughout, giving us glimpses into other lives and how other people coped (or did not cope) with the mad post-war world.

It’ll be fine. He loves me. There’s no real risk.

Although the glamorous scenes, so decadent, so wild, so elegant, so sparkly, are so different to how I imagine New York now to be, the themes of love, betrayal, forgiveness, mental illnesses, and more are universal and timeless, making this an exotic, yet relateable fictional biography. More importantly, it gives justification and a voice to Zelda Fitzgerald, forcing us to think of her as a person in her own right, not overshadowed by her husband, or other erroneous reports.

Book Chase: Z: A Novel About Zelda Fitzgerald




Language variety, diversity, expression, equality. I thought that these were Australian values. Well, they are. Not everybody acts on them, though.

To me, language is a huge indicator of who we are, where we come from, even where we are going. And as a linguistics student, I feel kind of entitled to be able to analyse people’s use of language, their accent, their words, their punctuation, to get a feel for them.

Unfortunately this doesn’t always work… example 1: when I thought someone was gay. I still think that that was his fault. But it put a dampener on our “relationship”.

There are times, though, when someone’s opinion can be pretty clear, and pretty hurtful.

Living in Melbourne, I hear I huge variety of accents. I love that they all come to this city and that I get to hear and see a lot of them. But the other day, at a work meeting, a girl with similar education to myself, and I were talking about different accents in Australia.

We were saying that you can’t really tell what part of Australia a person is from based on their accent. I thought it was a good discussion until she said “There’s just like bogan… or, well, country and city.”

So, apparently, everyone from the country speaks bogan, and therefore, presumably, is a bogan. I felt like asking her what she thinks my accent is then shutting her down (amid applause and firecrackers, popping champagne bottles and red roses being flung at my feet) with a witty remark.

There were three reasons why I couldn’t do this:

  1. It was an amicable work meeting. That’s not normal amicable work meeting behaviour
  2. I couldn’t think of a witty remark. Still can’t, really
  3. I was just stumped. Who actually thinks so narrowly?

Being a Caucasian 22 year old girl (girl? woman?) with a good education, I very rarely feel discriminated against, but that was one time. And it was not a pleasant feeling. Writing that has just opened my eyes – I should, and will be, more proactive in lessening discrimination, as well as pursuing my love of language and free self expression in a variety of voices for all.

Mandatory detention? For the school kids?


Please. Have a look at this.

As a Global Studies student in my last semester, I am excited to be leaving the depressing lectures and tutorials in which my classmates bag out the Australian government on issue to do with refugees, asylum-seekers… and only now, as I write these words, do I understand how selfish they are.

Yes, this is not my field, or calling, but I do have a duty and a right as a member of this class to be interested, if nothing else, in the lives of these people who suffer and have suffered.

After reading this document that tells people with health problems and temporary residency in Australian communities that their funding will be cut and that they have only three weeks to find new housing, I am so angry! Imagine having finally been allowed into this beautiful country and then being denied your right to shelter and wellbeing!! I can not, I do not want to imagine it. It is horrible, and cruel.

I always associate the word “detention” with being a naughty child in school (never one to go against authority, I was never in detention, thank you very much), so why do we hold these blameless people there is such terrible conditions? What exactly is their crime to deserve being held in a prison for an indefinite amount of time?



I have hinted before (and very broad hints they were) that I have a friends with benefits. A friend with benefits who makes me question myself, what I’m doing, where I’m going. Well, that’s all changed. We’re not seeing each other anymore. I’m moving on, and so is he…. or so I thought.

An identity crisis made me think that we weren’t seeing each other anymore. Unfortunately, that is all I can say about that. But, believe me, it was a big issue and I got pretty angry about how I had been treated. I’m not sure if I have the right to be so angry and hurt, but I am. It has led to some very tumultuous months for me, and, I guess, for him.

For starters, we both left Australia to go to different continents.

Then, I’ve been on a few dates.

Lastly, I had a brief interlude of FWB again with someone I never thought I would do it with once, let alone going back for more.

Bottom line is: with the crazy emotions, the lack of contact, the moving on (honestly, my last two posts have been about getting my hair cut because I need change in my life and not to be looked over or forgotten. Talk about crisis), I thought we were done.

Imagine my surprise, if you will, when I received a message from him the other day, casually asking if I want to catch up because he is back and ran out of money lol.

So casual, so cavalier. I didn’t reply because I am overseas still, and that costs money that I don’t want to spend. But I wanted to reply in some way, to show no hard feelings. (Because suuuuuure there haven’t been any) So, I used the trick up my sleeve and added him on facebook and sent a message through messenger…. but he has not replied yet.

While I’m waiting on him (he doesn’t use facebook much as far as I know), I just have to think: what did he mean by ‘let’s catch up!’ That was what we always used to say, and he’s gone right back to it. Hopefully it is nothing less than a catch up, and we can finally talk face-to-face. Anyone out there with anything slightly similar? I am still feeling so confused, I just hope it can be amicably resolved.

My list

If you don’t know from previous posts, I have an obsession with my hair.

First, I need to update you on my last haircut – it is a rollercoaster if ever I knew one. After a lot of discussion, which escalated to arguments, with myself, I got a cheap haircut on campus. And not just a haircut: a fringe!

Or bangs. For me it was more of an explosion, I was so excited.


The hairdresser cut a very thin fringe that poked up every which-way, and highlighted my grey hairs, which stuck up above the rest somehow. So, when I got home I did a bit of research, then took my scissors and hacked maliciously at it. It was fun, rather terrifying, and, strangely enough, I am happy with the result.

I am still engaged in growing my hair out and I have challenged myself to grow it faster than my friend is growing hers. She doesn’t know this, but it will give me great satisfaction to achieve it. Being overseas and therefore without my stash of hair products (including kitchen products), my hair-growing habits have turned to researching how to grow hair long and strong (which, I know, doesn’t actually do anything except make me eager to do those methods suggested).

But, it is time to make my own list. I’ve done enough research, enough repetitive reading, to make my own list with my own needs. Hopefully, this gives a few clues to others too!

  1. Don’t use avocado. As a student (or normal human being), it’s hard to afford this kind of thing. There is rosemary and lavender in the garden outside, and I always have a bottle of eucalyptus oil on hand. I suggest using things close at hand, doing a bit of research on them, finding out if they will actually work (rather than harm), and use it to your advantage.
  2. Take time. Obviously hair doesn’t grow overnight. Well, you know what I mean. Little things, like brushing your hair slowly, and not scrubbing it to dry, are so useful and should be part of your routine – not only for long hair, but for strong and healthy hair.
  3. This is similar to the first but I find that I’m kind of running out of things already! So much for all the research. This tip is: while buying hair products is fun, look into homemade alternatives. Usually cheaper, and always healthier, and pretty fun to concoct, homemade alternatives are better than bought. I keep them in jars in my room, and feel good about the fact that it’s more environmentally friendly than buying packaged goods.

Honestly I think that they are all the tips that I have. They aren’t much, but I think that it is important not to get sucked into the big consumerist ideas. True, a lot of my hair products are bought but I will not be restocking them. I have a homemade dry shampoo (with coco and cinnamon, it smells delicious), and a hair mask of olive and eucalyptus oils. I use the rosemary and for a steam, and I use other herbs for facial steams.

So, enough talk about my hair! I hope that this is helpful to someone! Remember: don’t buy into all the fancy packaging, all the lovely smells (you can make your own though!), and have fun doing some experiments of your own!

Reinvent. Really.

The location for today’s procrastination location: WordPress.

I’m not even sure if that made sense but, hey, I like the rhyme. And, even though I am procrastinating, I feel as though this is important.

The other day I was feeling a bit bored and a bit stuck in my normal routine, lacking interest – this led me to looking up how to reinvent myself.

I guess that the almighty Google knows I’m a girl and my interest in make-up and that sort of thing, but I was still a bit irritated to find that the fruits of this search weren’t very nutritious: it was basically junk food. Artificial, dangerous, useless.

It was all about changing my looks: how to reshape my eyebrows, why I should change my lipstick and even my eye colour! As a fan of make-up and of fixing my hair up in braids and buns, I think that appearance is important. For one thing, it’s just fun to play with.

But, on the other hand, it is just fun. It should not be how I reinvent myself. Beauty is only skin deep, and changing my look on the outside won’t do all that much on the inside.

To give a few of the articles I read credit, they did comment that looking good gives confidence. I kind of agree with that – looking good makes it easier to walk into a room. Ask anyone who has the bridge of their nose filled, or their eyelids lifted. Looks give you power.

Simultaneously, my interest in healthy and environmentally-friendly eating has been growing. A friend gave me a SCOBY – the key ingredient of kombucha – and lent me a book by Sarah Wilson in which a recipe is written. It’s so interesting, and I love reading about how she has incorporated this type of food prep into her life, and how it has changed her life. It’s quite holistic – a word and notion I love.

So, that’s what i’m starting to do. For me, food is a very non-artificial part of life. The way I eat shows my heritage, people that I meet. I make pasta because I love sharing it with family. I took over the vegetable garden at home because I can give vegetables and herbs to friends and family. Heck, I grow sunflowers to help the bees. (Guys, really, plant flowers for bees)

So this is what I was hunting for without knowing. Ideas that Sarah Wilson expresses so clearly were some simmering, unclear concepts that had been floating around my mind for years. She illuminated them.

So please, to anyone out there wanting to reinvent themselves – go beyond looks. Go for something that means something big to you. Do it for the real you.

Why no stickers?

“You look really nice! I love your costume!” I said, already climbing up the stairs.

So, it wasn’t the most sincere compliment, but I did mean it to be nice. She looked good, ready to party, ready for a good night. I can’t say I looked good – I dressed for the theme of Mardi Gras with a lot of glitter, feathers, and all-round fabulousness. It’s nice to heat the:
“You too!” As I continue the climb.

Buuuuu, not so nice.

“How nice, the returned compliment” I growl to myself. (Honestly, it was a growl – low, yet intense and a tad aggressive.

“Ha, and she calls me a bitch” I hear, a few seconds later.

Woah. Woah woah woah woah woah. Woah! WOAH!

I have never called her… that word.

Sure, I don’t like her but 1) I don’ say that word – except in quotation – see above.

2) I don’t talk about people I don’t like with people who know that person. How does she know I don’t like her?

3) I do not think she is a b***h. Yeah, I don’t like her but I have never known her well enough to call her one of those.

SO – I now feel justified in sayingneh should not say that I say she’s a b***h. Oy.

Buut – an here’s the killer – she could very well be justified in saying I’m the bitch.

You know when you learn a word and you hear t everywhere? Apparently when doing hallucinogens you see weird things (that are not the result of those hallucinogens) everywhere. I figure it’s like that. I think she thinks I’m mean – so I think t of myself.

I have approximately six weeks to fix that, before I move out. And my goodness, am I glad to be moving out.