UNDERSCORE

I have hinted before (and very broad hints they were) that I have a friends with benefits. A friend with benefits who makes me question myself, what I’m doing, where I’m going. Well, that’s all changed. We’re not seeing each other anymore. I’m moving on, and so is he…. or so I thought.

An identity crisis made me think that we weren’t seeing each other anymore. Unfortunately, that is all I can say about that. But, believe me, it was a big issue and I got pretty angry about how I had been treated. I’m not sure if I have the right to be so angry and hurt, but I am. It has led to some very tumultuous months for me, and, I guess, for him.

For starters, we both left Australia to go to different continents.

Then, I’ve been on a few dates.

Lastly, I had a brief interlude of FWB again with someone I never thought I would do it with once, let alone going back for more.

Bottom line is: with the crazy emotions, the lack of contact, the moving on (honestly, my last two posts have been about getting my hair cut because I need change in my life and not to be looked over or forgotten. Talk about crisis), I thought we were done.

Imagine my surprise, if you will, when I received a message from him the other day, casually asking if I want to catch up because he is back and ran out of money lol.

So casual, so cavalier. I didn’t reply because I am overseas still, and that costs money that I don’t want to spend. But I wanted to reply in some way, to show no hard feelings. (Because suuuuuure there haven’t been any) So, I used the trick up my sleeve and added him on facebook and sent a message through messenger…. but he has not replied yet.

While I’m waiting on him (he doesn’t use facebook much as far as I know), I just have to think: what did he mean by ‘let’s catch up!’ That was what we always used to say, and he’s gone right back to it. Hopefully it is nothing less than a catch up, and we can finally talk face-to-face. Anyone out there with anything slightly similar? I am still feeling so confused, I just hope it can be amicably resolved.

Advertisements

My list

If you don’t know from previous posts, I have an obsession with my hair.

First, I need to update you on my last haircut – it is a rollercoaster if ever I knew one. After a lot of discussion, which escalated to arguments, with myself, I got a cheap haircut on campus. And not just a haircut: a fringe!

Or bangs. For me it was more of an explosion, I was so excited.

scissors-pattern-21754610

The hairdresser cut a very thin fringe that poked up every which-way, and highlighted my grey hairs, which stuck up above the rest somehow. So, when I got home I did a bit of research, then took my scissors and hacked maliciously at it. It was fun, rather terrifying, and, strangely enough, I am happy with the result.

I am still engaged in growing my hair out and I have challenged myself to grow it faster than my friend is growing hers. She doesn’t know this, but it will give me great satisfaction to achieve it. Being overseas and therefore without my stash of hair products (including kitchen products), my hair-growing habits have turned to researching how to grow hair long and strong (which, I know, doesn’t actually do anything except make me eager to do those methods suggested).

But, it is time to make my own list. I’ve done enough research, enough repetitive reading, to make my own list with my own needs. Hopefully, this gives a few clues to others too!

  1. Don’t use avocado. As a student (or normal human being), it’s hard to afford this kind of thing. There is rosemary and lavender in the garden outside, and I always have a bottle of eucalyptus oil on hand. I suggest using things close at hand, doing a bit of research on them, finding out if they will actually work (rather than harm), and use it to your advantage.
  2. Take time. Obviously hair doesn’t grow overnight. Well, you know what I mean. Little things, like brushing your hair slowly, and not scrubbing it to dry, are so useful and should be part of your routine – not only for long hair, but for strong and healthy hair.
  3. This is similar to the first but I find that I’m kind of running out of things already! So much for all the research. This tip is: while buying hair products is fun, look into homemade alternatives. Usually cheaper, and always healthier, and pretty fun to concoct, homemade alternatives are better than bought. I keep them in jars in my room, and feel good about the fact that it’s more environmentally friendly than buying packaged goods.

Honestly I think that they are all the tips that I have. They aren’t much, but I think that it is important not to get sucked into the big consumerist ideas. True, a lot of my hair products are bought but I will not be restocking them. I have a homemade dry shampoo (with coco and cinnamon, it smells delicious), and a hair mask of olive and eucalyptus oils. I use the rosemary and for a steam, and I use other herbs for facial steams.

So, enough talk about my hair! I hope that this is helpful to someone! Remember: don’t buy into all the fancy packaging, all the lovely smells (you can make your own though!), and have fun doing some experiments of your own!

Why no stickers?

“You look really nice! I love your costume!” I said, already climbing up the stairs.

So, it wasn’t the most sincere compliment, but I did mean it to be nice. She looked good, ready to party, ready for a good night. I can’t say I looked good – I dressed for the theme of Mardi Gras with a lot of glitter, feathers, and all-round fabulousness. It’s nice to heat the:
“You too!” As I continue the climb.

Buuuuu, not so nice.

“How nice, the returned compliment” I growl to myself. (Honestly, it was a growl – low, yet intense and a tad aggressive.

“Ha, and she calls me a bitch” I hear, a few seconds later.

Woah. Woah woah woah woah woah. Woah! WOAH!

I have never called her… that word.

Sure, I don’t like her but 1) I don’ say that word – except in quotation – see above.

2) I don’t talk about people I don’t likeĀ with people who know that person. How does she know I don’t like her?

3) I do not think she is a b***h. Yeah, I don’t like her but I have never known her well enough to call her one of those.

SO – I now feel justified in sayingneh should not say that I say she’s a b***h. Oy.

Buut – an here’s the killer – she could very well be justified in saying I’m the bitch.

You know when you learn a word and you hear t everywhere? Apparently when doing hallucinogens you see weird things (that are not the result of those hallucinogens) everywhere. I figure it’s like that. I think she thinks I’m mean – so I think t of myself.

I have approximately six weeks to fix that, before I move out. And my goodness, am I glad to be moving out.

Projects

I am probably the exact same as everyone else – especially at this time of year.

You see, I work at Kmart. Luckily (for you), that’s not why we’re all alike. On New Year’s Day, 2017, I saw more people than usual buying work out clothes. Good on ’em. Keep it up. Good job, Bob.

At the start of the year we all get those urges to do, to experience, to be better, to be healthier, to incorporate mindfulness. I will leave the subject of mindfulness to another post, though. On that subject, I have so. Much. Advice. (In a non-aggressive way)

I had the urge and the opportunity to re-organise my room. To tell the truth, I didn’t have the opportunity: I made it. I started at 9 pm and kept going until I had room on bed to sleep. Then I needed to get rid of things and to find new boxes for jewellery. That got me onto Pinterest and I am now making a jewellery storage space from an old corkboard that was sitting on the floor and still holding 2015’s shopping lists.

Now I am (once again) an avid Pinterest user. I have re-organised my boards and have aims to give my account a facelift. I hope that this urge will pay off: that it will help keep me active both physically and mentally, help me to learn and prepare for the day when I have to renovate my own, futuristic house, and to keep me far from boredom and well within the realm of creativity and… fun.

Good luck to all with your resolutions and aims, motivation and journeys!new-years-eve-fireworks-sydney-harbour-national-park